Agent Sitwell: “I never asked you. How was Tahiti?”

Coulson: “It sucked.”

“If it’s really just sex, Ward, you should get more comfortable using the word.”
Agent Coulson
“Prostitutes, plural?”
Agent Coulson
“Do you need anything before I go check on the device fuelled by evil that’s sitting in our cargo hold?”
Agent Coulson
“It would be nice if, for once, Thor and his people sent down the God of Cleaning Up After Yourself.”
Agent Coulson
“You’ve got two choices. Take what’s in this box or we put you in a slightly bigger one.”
Agent Coulson

Agent Ward: “Go for ‘Short Bus’”

Agent Coulson: “Next time I’ll decide what we call ourselves, ok?”