“It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.”
Xander

Xander: “Holy moley.”

Buffy: “I know.”

Xander: “I totally get it now. Can I have sex with Riley too?”

Angel: “Buffy’s white knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first.”

Xander: “You’re gonna die. And I’m gonna be there.”

“I like the quiet”
Xander

Xander: “You want to try poker?”

Clem: “I still say it’s weird without kittens.”

Buffy: “No kittens.”

The Master: “You killed the girl that sought the Slayer?”

Xander: “It was too easy.”

Willow: “I felt cheap.”

“Master? I deliver the slayer. She who you most desire. Sorry, whom.”
Xander
“Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil.”
Xander